


Sleep Paralysis

by Dean_hugs_Sammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Panic Attacks, Post-Cage, Psychological Torture, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 05:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dean_hugs_Sammy/pseuds/Dean_hugs_Sammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though Sam has always had trouble with sleep, it's been a while since it has last been that big of a problem. That is until he wakes up and is suddenly unable to move.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set in Season 8 sometime after 'As Time Goes By'.

Sam had always had issues with sleep. In more aspects and in more profound ways than most people had and _would_ ever have in an entire lifetime. As a kid it had often happened that Sam would wake up in the middle of the night with a loud gasp; bathed in sweat and panting for air as the night terror still lingered in his mind even though he had no longer been asleep. Sometimes Dean had woken up too, sometimes he hadn't, but either way Sam would leave his bed, tiptoe to his brother's bed and would then try to fight back tears as he waited in silence for Dean to invite him under his covers. Dean had always done so - whether he had been truly awake or not – and Sam had always found comfort in his big brother's presence which meant that when he had been able to curl up into Dean's side, the night terror would finally let go of its hold of him.

Sleep hadn't been any easier when Sam grew up though. Especially not with the lives they lived. While his father and brother had usually slept peacefully at night after a day on the job, Sam had been tossing and turning – had been thinking of all the lives they _hadn't_ been able to save on that particular day, and if something evil would eventually get the remaining part of his family as it had once ripped away his mother.

As time went by, Sam's nightmares were accompanied by visions that were hurtful and made him exhausted both physically and mentally. It didn't help when Dean had told him what their father's last words to Dean had been, and Sam had lain awake at nights wondering if he would at some point turn dark side.

He had been utterly broken and sleepless when Dean had only had a year left to live in before going to hell and, when Dean eventually did die and go to hell, Sam hadn't made peace with sleep either. Then came the apocalypse, the cage, the knowledge that Sam had been walking around doing God-only-knows-what while being soulless, the wall breaking inside his head, Lucifer keeping him awake and Dean disappearing to Purgatory.

Now the brothers were not only reunited but also yet again back on the same page. With Dean sleeping in a bed right next to him, Sam slept more peacefully at night than he had done in a very long time. Maybe that was why – despite Sam's history with sleep – that it came as such a big surprise to him when he woke up one early morning after a good night's sleep and suddenly found himself unable to move.

A strangled gasp left his slightly-parted lips as Sam felt like his entire body was locked in place as if someone had tied him down. But there were no restrains, nothing pinning him down. Sam simply couldn't move and - to top it all - he couldn't say anything either, not even open his eyes. Even though the feeling only lasted a few seconds, Sam was beyond scared when the invisible force let go of him and he swore he had also felt a presence before he was finally able to move again. Sam immediately shot up in bed while panting, flexed his fingers and toes to make sure they were working properly and then quickly let his eyes scan the surroundings for any signs of an intruder before his gaze settled on the bed next to him. It was empty which most likely meant that Dean had woken up early and had left the motel room to pick up breakfast for the two of them.

Even before Sam fully reached that conclusion, his thoughts were confirmed as his brother stepped into the room carrying a set of keys, a bag of food, two cups of coffee, and a newspaper underneath his armpit. Dean dumped his keys on the table while whistling but then froze mid-whistle as he noticed the expression on Sam's face.

"What?" Dean wanted to know – a frown slowly forming between his eyes as he put down the food, coffee and newspaper before he walked closer to his obviously freaked-out younger brother.

"What?" Dean repeated and took in the sweat on Sam's forehead, the paleness on his face and the slight shake of Sam's hands. "What's going on, Sam?"

"I.." Sam started, swallowed hard and then locked his eyes on Dean's. "I just.. I woke up and I couldn't move."

"What do you mean you couldn't move?" Dean asked.

"I couldn't _move,_ Dean." Sam said and carded his hands through his shaggy hair before letting them wash down his face. "I was awake but.. I couldn't lift my arms and legs, not even turn my head. You know that feeling when your arm goes to sleep and you can't use it?"

"Sure." Dean nodded.

"Well it was sort of like that, only nothing felt numb. I just couldn't move anything." Sam said. "And I couldn't even speak."

"O-kay." Dean drew out and scratched the stubbles on his chin for a moment. "And you're sure you weren't still asleep and just dreaming you couldn't move?"

"I was awake, Dean." Sam glared and threw off his covers before heading to the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm not saying I don't believe you." Dean said and followed behind Sam. He leaned his shoulder against the door frame of the bathroom while he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I'm just trying to look for a logical explanation here."

"I know." Sam sighed tiredly, splashed some water in his face and brushed his wet hands through his hair before grabbing a towel. "Maybe I wasn't fully awake after all."

"Tell you what." Dean said while Sam dried off his face with the towel. "It happens again, you tell me, and then we'll figure it out together, alright?"

"Yeah." Sam agreed, discarded the towel and then followed his older brother out of the bathroom. "So, what's the plan?"

"I say we go talk to Mr. Hayfield and find out what his connection to the victim was." Dean answered before taking a sip of his coffee.

Sam nodded while changing from sweats to a pair of jeans. The brothers were in South Rockwood, Michigan, on a ghost hunt. Weird things were happening on a local farm which most recently ended in a fatal accident for one of the employees who had been impaled on a pitchfork. The owner of the farm, Frederick Hayfield, had a bad reputation among the local people since he apparently didn't treat his workers very well. Every clue pointed towards a ghost haunting the place, but who it was and what its connection to the farm was, had yet to be figured out.

Even though Sam wanted to solve the case and save the lives of the remaining workers, the experience he'd had this morning was hard to shake off. Maybe Dean was right after all though; maybe there was indeed a logical reason behind Sam's sudden disability to move. But that didn't mean Sam wasn't still shaken up about it.

"Sam, you listening?" Dean asked and Sam turned to face his brother. "If I go talk to Mr. Hayfield, will you stay here and find out more about our victim and the farm?"

"Sure." Sam said, sat down by the table and pulled the much needed coffee closer to him.

"Hey." Dean said in a soft voice which made Sam look up.

Dean was studying his face and Sam saw the concern in his big brother's eyes.

"You alright?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine, Dean." Sam promised and offered his brother a little smile.

Dean returned the smile and then patted Sam's shoulder as he got up from his seat. Sam almost choked up when he realized that Dean – despite everything they'd been through – still cared as much about his younger brother as he had always done, and for that Sam was really grateful.

"See ya later, Rapunzel." Dean grinned as he put on his jacket.

"Don't run off with one of the milkmaids." Sam said and Dean chuckled.

"Stay away from Casa Erotica." Dean shot back and smirked as Sam's bitchface followed him out of the door.

**_ SPN _**

The second time it happened to Sam was back in the motel room after they'd finished the hunt.

As it was, Mr. Hayfield used to work in the stables before he had taken over the farm after his father passed away and, since Mr. Hayfield was a bad apple back then as well, he had one day raped and murdered one of the milkmaids who used to work there too. Her body had been discovered in the dunghill behind the stables, and the police mistakenly wrote her death off as an accident which meant that Mr. Hayfield had gotten away with his crimes. With the twenty years anniversary of her death coming up, the milkmaid had started haunting the place in search for revenge but unfortunately took it out on innocent workers. Dean and Sam had burned the milkmaid's bones but it unfortunately didn't get rid of the ghost, so – after they'd both been tossed around in the stable several times – Dean had in the end gotten rid of an old locket that belonged to the milkmaid. And while Sam had still been a bit disorientated after having been thrown into a wall, the ghost went up in flames but not before she successfully strangled Mr. Hayfield.

"I guess she got her revenge after all." Sam sighed when they had returned to their motel room just passed midnight.

"Well he had it coming, Sammy." Dean said while dabbing at the wound on Sam's forehead. "If you ask me, Mr. Hayfield got what he deserved after what he did to that girl. Now sit still."

They'd both been beyond tired when they'd finally crashed in each their bed that night, and Sam barely touched his pillow before he'd started drifting off to sleep. But when Sam reached the moment where sleep was just about to claim him, his body once again betrayed him.

Sam's limps where locked in place – his brain desperately trying to make his body respond to its commands, but no matter how hard Sam tried, he remained unable to move. His breathing hitched and his heart hammered away as he again felt like he was being watched by an unknown presence. After what felt like an eternity (but in reality weren't more than mere seconds) the younger Winchester brother succeeded in opening his eyes slightly. And then he wished he hadn't. Sam's heart picked up speed as the motel room walls started closing in on him while shadows of unknown creatures moved along them. The only thing that was keeping Sam somewhat composed at this point was the fact that, throughout it all, he could also hear Dean snoring in the bed next to him and he let the sound calm him down until his eyes fell shut.

Somehow Sam must have fallen asleep. How and when it had happened he wasn't sure about, but when he woke up again in the early morning everything was back to normal. It took him a couple of moments to remember why he had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right, and he then practically flew out of bed.

The youngest Winchester brother stared at his bed with eyes wide of fear and he took another couple of steps away from it like was he trying not to provoke a dangerous animal. He then spun around as he bumped into the edge of the other bed in the room that was currently still occupied by his snoring older brother.

"Dean." Sam called and urgently shook his brother's shoulder.

"Sammy, go back to sleep." Dean mumbled and tossed one of his arms over his eyes.

"Dean, wake up!" Sam said.

This time the distress in his little brother's voice made Dean grasp the knife underneath his pillow and he sat up with the knife in hand; ready to kill whoever or _what_ ever was making Sam sound like that.

"What's going on?" Dean asked, scanning the surroundings for a second before looking at Sam's face. He then lowered the knife. "Sam?"

"It happened again." Sam said, bit his lower lip and stared back at his brother while he waited for Dean's reaction.

"What.." Dean started but then his eyes widened in realization. "You couldn't move?"

Sam shook his head and swallowed hard.

"Did it happen just now?" Dean asked and got up from his bed.

"No, last night. Just before I fell asleep." Sam said. "And.. There was something else too."

"What?" Dean asked. A frown forming on his forehead as he – judging by the look on his little brother's face – was certain he wasn't gonna like the answer.

"It was like someone was there, watching me." Sam admitted. "I saw these shadows and the walls were closing in on me."

"Hold on, the _walls_ were closing in on you?" Dean asked incredulously.

"I know it sounds weird Dean, but that's what happened." Sam said, the tone of his voice clearly indicating how upset he really was, and Dean realized it had been quite a while since he'd last seen Sam this freaked out about something.

"I believe you, okay?" Dean said and moved his head to catch his brother's eyes once again. "And whatever it is, we'll figure it out. Okay Sammy?"

Sam nodded and Dean did as well before he started pacing back and forth in the room.

"Okay, I need this one more time from the beginning." Dean said while pacing.

The younger brother told Dean everything he could remember from the first episode and from the episode the night before, and Dean calmly listened to every detail – saving them in the special file inside his mind that contained everything Sammy related – while his concern spiked on the inside.

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do." Dean said when Sam was done talking. "You're gonna turn on your laptop and find everything we could possibly be dealing with here."

"And what are _you_ gonna do?" Sam wanted to know.

Dean looked at his worried brother and let out a sigh. The first thing that always popped into his mind was calling Bobby but their surrogate father was dead and gone, so that obviously ruled out that option. His second thought had been calling Castiel but ever since the trench coat wearing angel had disappeared to Heaven with Alfie's body, Dean knew he couldn't rely on his help either so that option could be ruled out as well.

"I'm gonna call Garth. Maybe he has a theory." Dean answered. "And then I'm gonna look through Dad's journal."

"Okay." Sam said and let out a breath, looking much calmer now that Dean had taken charge of the situation.

The older brother quirked a wry smile, despite the seriousness of the situation, when he was reminded of all the times over the years that Sam had sought comfort in his big brother; believing that Dean could fix everything. And Dean did intend to fix whatever this thing was – did intend to get rid of the unknown _something_ that dared to threat his little brother. Nothing got away with threatening Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

"Maybe the bed was cursed." Sam suggested as he dumped his duffle bag inside Rufus' old cabin in Whitefish, Montana. "Or maybe there was some sort of creature there after all."

"Sam." Dean said and waited for his younger brother to look at him before he continued. "You know as well as I do that the room was completely clear; no curses, no creatures, no EMF, no hex bags, no nothing. Whatever happened to you, it had nothing to do with that room."

Sam sighed and bit the inside of his cheek for a moment while a thoughtful expression settled on his face. According to their dad's journal, they could be dealing with an incubus - in Old English called a _mare_ as the last part in _nightmare_ – who was a creature that was thought to sit on the chest of sleeping people; keeping them in place while making them experience nightmares. It was pretty close to Garth's theory that involved a sort of hag who would leave her physical body to sit on a person's chest as well; making the person unable to move. It kinda fit with what Sam had experienced, but unfortunately nothing else had pointed in those directions so the brothers had soon dismissed those options.

"Okay but what then?" Sam asked. "There haven't been any incidents since we left the motel."

A shudder went through the youngest Winchester brother as he thought about the two times he'd been immobilized in that motel room bed. It had been such a terrifying experience that he had refused to sleep in the room ever again, so the brothers resorted to sleep in the Impala instead. After going through every possibility they could think of without getting any closer to finding out what had caused Sam to be unable to move, they had left the town behind and headed towards the cabin in Montana. Sam had slept peacefully in the car for most of the way, so what the hell was the cause of this thing if it wasn't centered on the motel room?

"Honestly, I don't know." Dean said and grabbed two beers from the fridge before handing one of them to his brother. "But if it doesn't happen again then I guess there's no need to worry more about it. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Sam said and took a sip of his beer. Then he huffed.

"What?" Dean asked while leaning back against the kitchen counter.

Sam shook his head and sighed again.

"I just wish we could catch a break for once - at least when we're simply trying to get some sleep." Sam said.

"Yeah, I hear you." Dean agreed with a nod.

The brothers were silent for a little while as they were both lost in thoughts. That was until Dean decided to break the silence at least.

"It's very unfortunate that you're the one having trouble with sleep and not me." Dean said and Sam shot his older brother a confused look.

"What do you mean?" Sam wanted to know.

"Well, you're the only one of us who could seriously need some beauty sleep." Dean said with a smirk.

"Ha, ha." Sam said with no amusement in his voice and rolled his eyes - although he secretly loved his brother for always trying to lighten up the tension.

**_ SPN _**

Two weeks later, Sam hadn't experienced any more episodes of the sudden inability to move and, since he was yet again sleeping rather peacefully at nights, Sam had decided to put the whole thing behind him and move on.

Dean, on the other hand (and despite what he had told his brother), couldn't help but still feel a tiny bit worried. He was a Winchester and most things certainly didn't happen to the Winchesters without a reason behind it. Mainly the bad things – and _especially_ when Sammy was involved. But Dean was done with things that were out to cause Sam harm. After what had felt like an eternity, the older Winchester brother had finally been reunited with his little brother and Dean would be damned if he was gonna let anything rip Sam away from him again. So, in between doing their usual case research, Dean secretly read anything he could find about possible creatures that could be the cause of whatever Sam had gone through. The older brother also secretly wondered if Sam _had_ dreamed the whole thing after all which could explain why it had been impossible to find the key to this whole mystery. But Dean knew better than to question it. Besides not wanting to hurt his brother, Dean knew that the experience had felt real to Sam and that was what really mattered.

Returning from a hunt that had contained a pack of demons serving the king of hell - and a lot of ass-kicking on both parts - the brothers were exhausted and more than ready to crash the moment the Impala came to a stop in front of the cabin.

"Sam." Dean called, rousing his younger brother who had started nodding off a few miles before the cabin appeared in sight.

"We back?" Sam mumbled drowsily – then groaned as he straightened up in the seat since the action jarred his aching muscles.

"Yeah come on." Dean said and opened up his door. "Time to catch some Zs."

Sam didn't need to be told twice so he exited the car as well and followed his brother inside. While Dean hogged the bathroom, Sam sat down on the edge of his bed, pulled off his shoes and then let his head fall back against the pillow with a deep sigh.

"I guess you're not even gonna change your clothes tonight, huh?" Dean asked when he returned from the bathroom and shook his head with a wry smile when Sam only grunted his response.

Dean grabbed a blanket and draped it over his brother before he made sure the salt lines were intact, and he then crashed to bed as well.

When the older brother woke up the following morning, he noticed that Sam was still asleep. No, scratch that; Sam was awake because his eyes were open – he just hadn't left his bed yet.

"How come I'm always the one who has to get up and make coffee - even when you wake up first?" Dean grumbled and left his bed with a groan. "You're supposed to respect the elderly."

Sam didn't answer but just continued to stare up at the ceiling above him; not even bothering to turn his head and acknowledge that his brother was trying to make conversation. Dean sighed. If Sam was gonna be grumpy this morning then he could make his own goddamn coffee.

The oldest Winchester brother made his way to the kitchen area, filled and started the coffee machine – then walked to the bathroom to do his business. When he returned from the bathroom he looked confused around in the main room of the cabin; wondering why Sam was nowhere to see. The smell of freshly made coffee usually attracted the younger brother – morning grumpy or not – so if Sam was still lying in his bed, then something was clearly wrong.

"Sam?" Dean called while an unsettled feeling spread inside his stomach.

He walked the short distance back to the beds where his eyes fell upon his brother who was still lying in the exact same position he'd been in when Dean had left in the first place.

"Sam?" Dean called again.

Dean's breath caught in his throat when he for a moment feared that Sam was dead, but the rise and fall of Sam's chest luckily told him otherwise. A noise - that most of all sounded like a combination of a choked gasp and a whimper - escaped Sam's lips, and Dean was by his brother's side in a heartbeat. He grabbed Sam's shoulders and shook them slightly.

"Sammy?" Dean called and tried to catch Sam's look but the younger brother's eyes remained fixed at a certain point above him; unfocused and unseeing. "Sammy, talk to me!"

Sam didn't though; he just continued to stare at nothing at all, not moving one bit, and Dean realized that this was what Sam had experienced a few weeks back – this was what had scared the crap out of his little brother and was now scaring the crap out of Dean as well!

"Sam!" Dean hollered and the loud shout of his name from the one person whose voice Sam had been so desperate to hear, finally seemed to snap the younger man out of his paralyzed state.

Sam gasped loudly – his eyes wild and panicked - and shot up into a sitting position with such a force that it nearly knocked Dean off balance. Before Dean could as much as open his mouth to say anything though, Sam tore himself out of the hold Dean had of his shoulders, jumped out of bed and took off running. The older brother was quick though and ran after his brother – catching up with him just before Sam could reach the front door and locked his arms around Sam's midsection from behind.

"No!" Sam shouted and desperately clawed at the arms holding him in place but Dean didn't let go of his freaked-out brother.

"Stop!" Dean ordered and tightened his hold. "Sam, stop it! Calm down!"

Sam did calm down a notch although Dean could still feel the trembles from his brother's body while Sam also still kept panting heavily. The younger brother then gagged and Dean carefully dragged Sam with him to the sink, kept one arm around Sam's midsection while his other hand settled on Sam's forehead; effectively keeping him in place while Sam gagged a few times more and then sent his dinner from the night before into the drain.

"Dean." Sam choked out between gulping in large amounts of air.

"Right here." Dean said in a soft voice and slowly released his hold of Sam before gently rubbing his back. "You done?"

Sam nodded and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and Dean turned on the faucet to get rid of the nasty content in the sink. The youngest Winchester brother was still shaken up when Dean grabbed a hold of his sleeve and guided him to a chair to sit down, and Dean noticed how exhausted and worn out Sam looked now that he had calmed down.

Dean sat down next to his brother and studied Sam's pale face for a moment before speaking.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked in a mild voice. "You couldn't move this time either, could you?"

Sam shook his head and blew out a shaky breath.

"Did you kill them?" Sam asked which made Dean frown in confusion.

"Kill who?" Dean asked.

"The demons." Sam said and shot Dean a confused look in return.

"Sam." Dean said and suddenly felt sick to his stomach. "There weren't any demons."

"Yes, there were!" Sam argued - his breathing picking up a bit in distress. "I saw them.. T-they were choking me."

"No one was choking you, Sammy. I was there." Dean said and swallowed hard as an expression of despair settled on his little brother's face. "I swear, dude. It was just you and me."

Tears welled up in Sam's eyes and he blinked hard multiple times to stop them from spilling, all the while he twisted his hands nervously in his lap.

"What is happening to me?" Sam asked in a small voice and let out a sob. "Dean, I don't understand."

"We'll figure it out." Dean promised.

Sam nodded slightly – then got up from his chair, disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

**_ SPN _**

"Sam, you look exhausted. Go to bed." Dean said and pushed the screen of Sam's laptop down.

"No." Sam said and pushed the screen back up. "I'm not sleeping before we figure out what the hell is wrong with me."

Dean sighed and washed a hand down his face.

"You can barely keep your eyes open, man." Dean commented.

"I don't care." Sam answered stubbornly.

"Well I do." Dean said and glanced at his wrist watch. "Tell you what; I'm gonna take a shower and then we'll both crash afterwards, okay?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders without looking at his brother, and Dean figured it was the closest he would come to an actual answer right now. The older brother closed the book he'd been looking through and then left to take a shower.

When Dean returned from the bathroom in a cloud of steam fifteen minutes later, Sam was no longer sitting by the table and his laptop was closed. The older brother took that discovery as a good sign since that probably meant that Sam had given in to sleep after all and was most likely already halfway to dreamland by now. When Dean stepped into the bedroom, however, Sam was nowhere to be found.

"Crap." Dean muttered, returned to the main room and noted that Sam wasn't asleep on the couch either. Where was he? "Sam?"

No answer. Dean let out a stream of curse words, got rid of the towel he had wrapped around his abdomen and quickly got dressed before he put on his jacket and boots. Stubborn as he was Sam had, in all probability, left the cabin to take a walk to keep himself from falling asleep. Dean decided he would take the Impala for a spin to try to catch up with his younger brother, but as Dean reached into his jacket pocket to take out his car keys, he realized that they were missing.

"Sam, you moron." Dean mumbled and angrily ripped open the front door – but stopped up in surprise when he noticed that the Impala was exactly where he'd left her the night before.

Dean frowned and closed the gap between him and the car. He then let out a sigh of relief when he discovered one piece of giant little brother – fast asleep on the front seat. The older brother wasn't surprised; Sam had always found comfort in the car.

"Sam." Dean called when he'd opened up the car door and had stuck his head inside. He shook Sam's shoulder and waited for the younger man to rouse. "Sammy, come on."

"Go away. Sleepy." Sam mumbled but Dean didn't leave him alone.

"You're not gonna sleep out here in the cold when there's a bed waiting for you inside in the warmth. Now come on, Sasquatch."

Sam made a miserable sound as Dean dragged him out of the car and back inside the cabin.

"Dean, I don't wanna sleep in there." Sam protested, still half-asleep.

"Then take the couch." Dean offered, although he really didn't give Sam much of a choice before he'd guided his drowsy little brother to the couch and had pushed him down on it.

Sam curled up on his side and even though his eyes wouldn't stay open, Sam was fighting hard to stay awake.

"Sleep." Dean ordered as he pulled off Sam's boots.

"I can't, Dean. What if.." Sam started when Dean cut him off.

"I'll watch over you." Dean promised. "And if anything happens, I'll make sure you snap out of it, alright?"

"'Kay." Sam answered, finally let sleep claim him and softly started snoring a few seconds later.

Dean grabbed a chair and dragged it to the couch before he sat down on it - a beer in hand. He then put his feet up on the coffee table and opened the beer while he prepared himself for a night of big brother duty; watching over his little brother and keeping him safe.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam slept peacefully on the couch throughout the night while Dean watched over him, which gave the older brother lots of time to continue researching for the reason behind Sam's mysterious episodes of immobility. But the brothers had already been through everything they could think of and nothing had fit entirely with what Sam was going through, so Dean once again came up empty-handed.

Dean sighed heavily, closed Sam's laptop that was currently situated on his lap, and then rubbed at his tired eyes. It was frustrating enough that something was yet again out to get his little brother but even more frustrating that they couldn't figure out what it was and how to kill it.

The oldest Winchester brother cut his eyes at Sam as the younger man mumbled something unintelligible and shifted a bit on the couch. Dean let out a sigh of relief though when Sam continued to sleep without seeming to be in any kind of distress, and Dean then got up from his chair, straightened his back with a groan and picked up the blanket Sam had kicked onto the floor. He tossed the blanket back over his sleeping brother and gently removed some strands of hair from Sam's eyes before glancing at his watch.

_05:18 a.m._

Dean yawned and went to grab himself a new cup of coffee – his fourth one since two o'clock that night.

"I'm getting too old for this shit." Dean muttered to himself before taking a sip of the coffee, then grimacing a bit at the taste now that the coffee wasn't freshly-made anymore. But he needed the caffeine to stay awake - Dean would go to bed when Sam had woken up and not a second before.

As the older brother sat down on the chair once more, crossed his ankles on the coffee table and continued watching over Sam, he thought about all the things Sam had gone through over the years and wished – not for the first time in his life – that things could have been different; that his little brother didn't have to experience so much pain and sorrow. But Dean knew they couldn't erase the past. They could only try to learn from their past mistakes and make the future brighter for the both of them.

Dean sighed and washed a hand down his face. It was a miracle they'd gotten through everything with their minds still intact - especially when he thought about all the things they'd been through. The brothers had lost so many people in their lives, seen so many horrible things. They'd both literally been to hell and back, and…

_Hell.._

All color disappeared from Dean's face when something suddenly occurred to him. What if someone wasn't out to get Sam after all – what if Sam's hallucinations from his memories about his time in the cage were returning?

A shudder prickled all the way up his spine and Dean jumped to his feet before he started pacing back and forth in the cabin, lost in thoughts. Sam still remembered his time in the cage but Castiel had taken away Sam's hallucinations which had meant that the youngest Winchester brother was able to manage the horrible memories. But had the trench coat wearing angel's actions only been a temporary solution? Was there some kind of expiration date on the angel juice that Dean didn't know about? Sam had barely survived the affects of the crumbled wall inside his head the first time around, and Dean was afraid his brother would break if it happened again – if the hallucinations of Lucifer came back to torment him.

"Dean?"

Dean stopped pacing and turned towards the sound of the voice to see Sam staring at him with a concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked while sitting up.

"Nothing's wrong." Dean lied, not wanting to upset his brother before he knew for sure if it was in fact Sam's hallucinations that were returning or not.

Sam raised an eyebrow and shot Dean a doubtful look.

"So you're wearing down the floor for no reason?" Sam asked.

"You would too if you were on your fourth cup of coffee!" Dean said and Sam snorted.

"Rough night?" Sam asked with a little smile.

"Yeah, you snore." Dean complained.

"I do _not_ snore!" Sam protested.

"What do _you_ know about it? You were asleep _._ " Dean said and smirked when Sam glared at him. "Seriously though, you slept okay? No weird incidents I don't know about?"

"No. Nothing." Sam promised before he got up from the couch. "I just wish I knew what the hell is going on with me."

"You and me both, little brother." Dean said and nodded in agreement - his thoughts about the hell hallucinations shortly returning but he pushed them away. He was too tired to continue those thoughts right now.

"I guess it just once again proves what a freak I am, huh?" Sam said and laughed humorless.

"Hey, stop calling yourself that." Dean said and pointed at Sam with a raised finger. "Only I get to call you names!"

A smile tugged at the corner of Sam's lips and Dean patted his shoulder as he passed his brother on the way to his bed to catch some well-deserved hours of sleep.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam called after the older brother had flopped down on his bed and had closed his eyes.

"Mmm-hmm?"

"I.. eh.. I think I'll sleep on the couch from now on." Sam said as casually as possible, but Dean could still hear every emotion in his brother's voice although Sam was trying to hide them; angst, vulnerability, embarrassment…

"You do that, Sammy." Dean said in a soft voice - missing the grateful look Sam sent him from not calling him out on anything - just before the older brother drifted off to sleep.

**_ SPN _**

Three days later it happened again, and this time Sam had been sleeping on the couch when he had once again found himself locked in place. Dean had been asleep as well so he didn't see it happen but, judging from the way Sam had panicked afterwards, it hadn't been any less frightening for the younger brother this time around.

"Breathe, Sam." Dean coaxed his brother after finding Sam curled into a ball in the shower cabin – upset, shivering and on the edge of hyperventilating – and gently rubbed a hand back on forth between Sam's shoulder blades.

"I'm sleeping.. in the car.. from now on." Sam managed to choke out between short intakes of air.

"You're not sleeping in the car." Dean said with a shake of his head, sat down next to his brother in the shower cabin and leaned back against the tiles.

He continued to rub Sam's back while the younger brother tried to get his breathing back under control, and Dean closed his eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Sam.. What did you see?" Dean asked and waited for Sam to compose himself enough to answer.

"Ghosts." Sam answered. "Throw in a couple of demons trying to stab me and then you'll have the basics."

Sam let out something that was probably supposed to have been some sort of short laugh but which sounded a lot more like a sob.

"We'll figure this out." Dean promised as he'd done multiple times already – wishing the promise would become reality as soon as possible.

"How?" Sam wanted to know. "Dean, we've been through this over and over again, and we still know squat about the cause of this."

"True. But I'm not giving up until you're able to sleep without any incidents again, and neither are you." Dean said. "You hear me?"

"What about the case?" Sam asked, referring to the poltergeist hunt they were supposed to be leaving for that day.

"Screw the case!" Dean exclaimed and Sam shot his older brother a surprised look. "I'll call Garth and let him find someone else to handle it. We're not taking any more cases until we've solved yours, okay?"

"Okay." Sam said in a soft voice and held Dean's look while nodding his head.

Dean smiled wryly and then cleared his throat before getting back on his feet.

"If you'll excuse me. I don't feel comfortable being in the shower with my brother." Dean said as he left the shower cabin. "No matter how girly you can be."

Dean had almost managed to reach the bathroom door when he was hit in the back by a shampoo bottle.

**_ SPN _**

At first, Sam had decided not to get any sleep again as long as they didn't know what they were dealing with. That had soon proven to be a lost battle – especially with a big brother who threatened to cut off Sam's hair if he didn't grab a few hours every now and then. After debating the situation a bit back and forth, the brothers came up with a plan for the sleeping arrangements; Sam would sleep at nights while Dean watched over him, and Dean would sleep in the mornings while Sam did research.

The first couple of days Sam found it embarrassing and a tiny bit uncomfortable having to fall asleep while Dean was staring at him, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that this was what Dean had always done. It was Dean that had tucked Sam in at nights when they were kids, Dean who watched over him when he was hurt or sick, and Dean who comforted him after nightmares. It was Dean that had walked hand in hand with Sam at his first day of school, Dean who'd beat up the bullies and still threatened to rip the lungs out of whomever or whatever that dared to hurt Sam. His big brother had always watched out for him, and Sam had to admit that he couldn't deny how safe and protected he felt with Dean there.

"Sam?" Dean asked, tearing Sam out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" Sam said from his position on the couch where Dean had talked him into sleeping – despite Sam's protests.

"Go to sleep." Dean said without taking his eyes off the TV-screen. "I can practically hear your wheels turning all the way over here."

Sam sighed and turned onto his back before closing his eyes once more. He was in fact beyond tired at this point but even with Dean watching over him, Sam couldn't help but fear that this would be one of the nights where his body failed to obey him. It had been frightening enough the previous times and Sam had a feeling it would only get worse the more times it happened.

And he was right..

One minute Sam had been sleeping peacefully, and the next moment he woke up by a noise followed by Dean's voice that apologized for making it. But as Sam – still half-asleep and with his eyes still closed – wanted to answer his brother, he suddenly found that he couldn't. Sam tried to speak; he tried to scream and call for Dean, but nothing came out of his mouth, and he then realized with hammering heart that he was also once again locked in place.

While the youngest Winchester brother did everything in his power to get Dean's attention, a couple of ugly-ass demons appeared in front of his closed eyes; one with what appeared to be a branding-iron in his hand and the other one with a fire hose.

" _No! Get away from me!_ " Sam screamed inside his head. " _Dean!_ "

"Big brother can't save you." The demon with the branding-iron said with a devilish smirk.

The other one closed his hand around Sam's throat and squeezed which had Sam gasping for air right away and - had he been able to move them - he knew his legs would have started flailing while his hands would have desperately clawed at the hand cutting off his airway. But Sam was completely at the mercy of the demons and panic was consuming him more and more by each passing second.

"Open up, Sam!" The other demon grinned at him and grabbed his jaw with a harsh grip before prying Sam's mouth open.

"Care for a drink?" The other one laughed and Sam's panic reached new heights as the fire hose suddenly came into his view. Oh God, they were gonna drown him!

" _Dean!"_ Sam wanted to scream as the fire hose was dangerously close to his mouth.

"Sam!" One of the demons suddenly shouted at him. "Snap out of it!"

But Sam realized that it wasn't the demon's voice shouting at him – it was Dean's.

" _Sam_!"

Sam shot upwards with a loud gasp and immediately started fighting the arms that were grabbing his shoulders, while his heart kept hammering away.

"Sammy, stop. Stop, damn it!" Dean shouted at him and Sam then realized that it were Dean's hands grasping his shoulders.

Sam stopped fighting, clenched his eyes shut and instead tried to focus on his labored breathing while Dean continued to hold on to him.

"You okay?" Dean asked and Sam nodded.

"Yeah, just.. just give me a second." Sam panted and swallowed hard.

Dean took in his brother's pale and sweaty face while he patiently waited for Sam's trembles to subside a bit.

The younger brother had been asleep for three and a half hours when Dean had accidentally knocked a beer bottle to the floor. The bottle broke and Dean had winced when Sam had jumped a little by the noise. The older brother apologized, started cleaning up the pieces of glass and, since he hadn't heard anything from Sam, he had assumed that the younger brother had drifted off to sleep once more. Boy, had he been wrong! By the time Dean had thrown out the broken bottle and had returned to check up on Sam, Dean had immediately picked up on the signs of distress on his brother's face. No one else would have noticed that anything was out of place but Dean did - he knew Sam better than anyone did and _would_ ever do; even better than Sam himself. Dean had shaken Sam's shoulders and desperately called Sam's name until the younger brother had finally been released from his invisible bounds, and the pure terror Dean saw on Sam's face confirmed that it'd been yet another frightening experience.

"What did you see this time?" Dean asked as he let go of Sam's shoulders.

"Demons again." Sam said and let out a shaky breath. "This time trying to drown me."

Dean nodded and washed a hand down his face.

"Sam.. There's something I gotta ask you." Dean then said.

"Yeah?" Sam said, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his forearm.

"Was it hell?" Dean asked in a careful way.

Sam's head snapped up and he looked at Dean with a frown.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well.." Dean said, knowing there was no turning back now. "I've been wondering.. Do you think this could be your hell hallucinations returning?"

" _What_?" Sam exclaimed and rose from the couch with an offended look on his face. "No, it's not hell hallucinations!"

"You sure?" Dean asked and got up from the couch as well to face his brother.

"Of course I'm sure, Dean!" Sam said. "I can tell the difference, alright? Geez.."

Sam carded his hands through his hair and paced a little back and forth in the room before facing Dean again.

"Why would you even think that?" Sam asked.

"It was just a theory, Sam." Dean said. "Let's face it; we're running out of options here. We've been through everything supernatural we could think of, so I figured.."

"You figured I was going crazy instead, is that it?" Sam cut Dean off and then shook his head with a humorless laugh. "Unbelievable."

"Listen to me." Dean said and waited for Sam to look at him with a bitch face clearly in place, before he continued. "If you say it's not hallucinations from your time in the cage, then I believe you, okay? It was just speculations, so you can stop looking at me like I took away your favorite toy."

Sam made a face at Dean but replaced his bitch face with a tired expression instead.

"Look, we're still not gonna give up until we get to the bottom of this.. Alright?" Dean said and Sam nodded.

The younger Winchester brother then grabbed the blanket from the couch and started walking towards the front door of the cabin.

"Whoa, where're you going?" Dean asked.

"I'm sleeping in the car, Dean." Sam said before he went outside.

"Of all the stubborn little brothers in the world.." Dean mumbled but put on his jacket nonetheless, then grabbed Sam's laptop and a bag of chips before he followed his brother outside to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

The Impala had always been a home for the Winchesters. That was why it wasn't really a big surprise when Sam was able to sleep calmly in his curled up position on the backseat of the car while Dean watched over him. And that was how they spent the next few nights - whenever Dean was able to force Sam into catching some sleep at least, which wasn't exactly an easy task - even though Sam was more than exhausted by each passing day.

But Dean watched over his little brother while he slept; studied him, trying to figure out what was so different about the car compared to the beds and couch – _or_ if what Sam was going through had nothing to do with _where_ he slept at all. Maybe it would only be a matter of time before the younger brother had one of his episodes in the car as well, and Dean braced himself for that possibility. Sam would definitely not handle it very well if the one place he considered to be a safe haven wasn't a safe place for him either.

And as Dean predicted, that was exactly what happened.

After another day of studying old lore books, searching through internet pages, making calls to different people and reading through their father's journal for God only knows which time, Sam was fighting hard to keep his eyes open. Dean looked at his younger brother from behind the screen of the laptop, let out a sigh as Sam blinked rapidly to stop his eyelids from falling shut, and then closed the lid of the laptop.

"Sam, sleep, _now_." Dean ordered which made Sam snap his drooping eyes open.

"No." Sam said in a rusty voice and cleared his throat. "I'm good."

"Like hell you are." Dean said and stood up.

He hadn't missed the deep furrows underneath Sam's eyes that kept getting worse and which was a clear testimony to just how little sleep Sam was getting these days. It worried Dean more than he cared to admit; he hadn't seen his brother this worn out since the hallucinations of Lucifer were messing with his head, and Dean did _not_ want to go down that road again! It had been bad enough the first time around and, thinking back to how fragile and broken Sam had been when he'd been committed to that psych ward, Dean would do anything in his power to avoid a similar situation.

So Dean hooked a hand under Sam's upper arm and pulled the younger man to his feet, ignoring Sam's protests as he did so. The older brother shoved a blanket into his brother's arms and nudged him towards the door leading outside since Sam still refused to sleep anywhere else than in the car.

"Dean, stop pushing me! I can walk on my own." Sam complained as Dean kept nudging him towards the car.

"Yeah, you said the same thing when you were four." Dean huffed. "And you're still a pain in the ass during bedtime."

Sam glared at his older brother but Dean remained unaffected by the action. As they reached the Impala, Sam's hand hesitated on the door handle of the car and he let out a heavy breath that left little white clouds in the chilly air.

"It just.. It scares me, ya know? Not being able to move while someone tries to hurt you – not even being able to call for help." Sam said without looking at his brother. "And I know it's far from hell but.. somehow it still reminds me of it."

Sam turned his head in Dean's direction, caught his big brother's eyes for a moment before looking down again, and he then opened up the car door and got inside. Dean remained where he was for a couple of seconds; affected by the helplessness that he knew Sam was feeling, but swearing that he would find a way to save his brother from whatever it was Sam was dealing with. The kid had been through enough. They both had.

When Dean entered the Impala, Sam had already positioned himself on the backseat of the car; lying on his back with his arms folded behind his neck, blanket casually tossed over his body. Since he wasn't able to stretch his legs out all the way, they were awkwardly folded between the bench seat and the floorboard, but Sam was too tired to curl into a more comfortable position. It had been way easier fitting into the backseat when he'd been a kid.

Low tunes of soft rock soon reached his ears and Sam realized that Dean had turned on the radio – another one of his older brother's tricks to ease Sam into sleep and, as it almost always did, it soon lulled the youngest Winchester brother to sleep.

_Sunshine._

_A beach._

_The scream of a passing seagull._

_Laughing kids running around in sand; splashing water at each other in the line of the ocean._

_Sam felt the warm sunbeams on his skin as he turned another page in his book and enjoyed doing something normal for once; something that wasn't related to the world of the supernatural._

" _Hey Sammy! Check it out!"_

_Sam looked up from his book to see his big brother juggle some stones in the air, expertly throwing one of them under his thigh and easily catching it in the air again._

" _Cool huh?" Dean grinned and Sam shook his head with a wry smile before moving his attention back to his book._

_Everything was nice and quiet – idyllic even, if you like – and Sam could have stayed this way forever. There were no worries, no cases, and no creatures needing to be put down for once. It was just Sam and Dean having a normal day among normal people doing normal stuff._

_But then the wind suddenly picked up; flipping the pages in Sam's book with rapid speed, and the youngest Winchester brother's forehead wrinkled as a sudden uneasiness settled in his stomach. Sam's breathing then picked up as he looked up from his book only to discover that Dean had disappeared. The day had turned to night – no moon and no stars lighting up the black sky above him. The ocean had turned wild and into a crimson color; waves crashing against the rocks with a dangerous force._

" _Dean?" Sam called, his book discarded and forgotten as he jumped to his feet with a hammering heart. "Dean!"_

_Lightning split the sky and a booming thunder followed in its wake while Sam ran up and down the now deserted beach in his search for his big brother. Raindrops started falling from the sky – big and heavy – rhythmically drumming as they hit the surface of the ocean; color deeply red and reminding Sam of blood._

" _Dean!" He called once more and shivered as he suddenly felt cold all over._

_Besides the heavy drumming of the rain Sam could also hear distant music – rock music of the kind Dean liked to hear - and he tried to get closer to it._

_The Impala. Why did he suddenly think of the Impala?_

_Sam stopped up and sniffed the air. The bloody raindrops smelled like the car somehow, Sam realized, and the panic he was feeling got mixed with confusion._

_The Impala.. Distant rock music.. The smell of home.._

_Sam suddenly discovered that he was no longer walking on the beach but lying down on it. The ground underneath him didn't feel like sand though; it actually felt like some sort of.. couch? No, it felt like a car seat – leather upholstered._

_The youngest Winchester brother gasped when he realized three things at once; one: He had to be dreaming, two: He was in the Impala, and three: He could no longer move his limps. Despair filled Sam's heart as he realized he was having one of his episodes – trapped somewhere between his dream state and awareness. He could feel the upholstery of the backseat of the Impala, hear the music from its radio and smell the scent that only the Impala had. But all he saw before his eyes were the blood-red drops of rain that still fell from the black sky above him while the waves of the ocean crashed, and the thunder and lightning kept ravaging._

_Sam wanted to call for his brother yet again but Dean's name wouldn't form on his lips. He was paralyzed and mute, choking on the numerous of raindrops that hit his face and made a metallic taste fill his mouth._

_The young hunter knew that Dean was there with him inside the Impala but it wasn't Dean's presence that he could suddenly sense. It was someone else; something that came closer with threatening steps. Sam wasn't able to turn his head but, from the corner of his eye, he saw a set of boots coming to a stop beside him, and the next moment a figure was hovering above him._

_Sam swallowed hard as the figure bent down and, as another lightning lighted up the darkness around him, Sam was shocked when he recognized the person above him._

" _Dad?" Sam wanted to ask although no sound left his lips. His throat felt too tight and the lack of air made him feel dizzy and slow._

_The older man smiled down at Sam. He then leaned closer to Sam's face and the youngest Winchester brother's eyes widened in horror as the color of his father's eyes turned yellow. Sam's breath caught in his throat and his heart was beating so rapidly that his chest began to ache. The creature looking like John Winchester drew out a long jagged knife from his jacket and held the handle with both hands as he raised it above his head. His father's face smiled evilly down at Sam before his face morphed into Lucifer's._

" _You can never escape me, Sam!" Lucifer laughed at him and then forcefully stabbed the knife into Sam's guts._

"Dean!" Sam screamed as he shot up from the backseat of the car – not realizing that his brother was already there, grasping his shoulders.

"Sam, I'm here. I'm here." Dean soothed and tried to catch Sam's darting eyes.

When Sam's eyes finally settled on Dean's, the younger man buried his face in his hands and started crying.

"Jesus, kid." Dean mumbled, grabbed the back of Sam's neck with one hand and pulled him into a hug.

"I can't.. do this.. anymore." Sam sobbed into Dean's shirt. "I'm not.. safe.. anywhere."

"Yes, you are." Dean protested. "I've been right here with you all the time. You were never 'not safe', you hear me?"

Sam nodded against Dean's shirt although he disagreed with his older brother. Yes, Dean _had_ been with him but Sam hadn't been safe – not from the invisible force that had yet again invaded his dreams and had left him unable to do anything but take what was coming at him. The Impala was supposed to be his safety zone. What was he gonna do now?

"Look at me." Dean said and pushed Sam back so that he could get a good look at his frightened younger brother. "You're okay."

Sam nodded once more and swallowed hard. He knew he should have been embarrassed for breaking down in front of his big brother like this, but right now he didn't give a damn about it; he was too freaked out to care.

Sam then discovered that rain was drumming on the roof of the Impala which was probably why the sound had invaded his dream (and the reason why Dean's jacket was damp since the older brother had run from the front of the car to the back). But Sam discovered something else as well; a metallic taste in his mouth.. _Blood_.

Dean saw the change in his little brother's face and watched as Sam touched his lips – the fingers coming back bloody while terror filled Sam's eyes.

"Dean." Sam said in a barely audible voice - his breath hitching as angst closed its icy hand around his heart. Oh God, it was real; the bloody raindrops from his dream had been real!

Before Sam could panic any further, Dean grabbed his brother's chin to check out the source of the blood with a face pinched in a mix of worry and concentration.

"You just bit your tongue." Dean said and let out a relieved sigh as let go of Sam's chin.

"Thank God." Sam muttered, let go of a relieved sigh of his own and wiped at his stinging eyes.

Man, Sam felt tired - so _unbelievable_ tired – but he couldn't go back to sleep. Not after this. Not before this thing was over for good.. if it would ever truly be over, that is. Dean seemed to sense Sam's thoughts and gave his little brother a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, but before Dean could open his mouth to say anything, Sam beat his brother to it.

"I'm not so sure anymore that we're dealing with anything supernatural." Sam said in a low voice.

"What makes you think that?" Dean wanted to know.

Sam shook his head and washed both hands down his face.

"We've already been through everything we could think of." Sam answered with down-casted eyes. "And.. I don't know, it just feels like whatever is going on, it's happening inside my head."

"Hell?" Dean dared to ask – holding his breath as he waited for the answer.

"No. It still doesn't feel like it did when I was having hallucinations." Sam said while Dean let out the breath he'd been holding. "I did see Lucifer just before I was snapped out of it though, but whatever this is, it definitely isn't the same as last time."

"That's at least a good thing." Dean remarked with a nod of his head.

"Yeah.." Sam agreed. "But.. I think I need help, Dean."

Sam looked back up at Dean and the brothers stared at each other in silence – the only sound to be heard was the continued drumming of the raindrops against the roof of the Impala.

**_ SPN _**

"So.. PTSD?" Dean asked as they drove back towards the cabin in Montana.

"Yeah, that's what he said." Sam mumbled – tired eyes looking straight ahead at the road in front of them.

It had always been the Winchester way to deal with things on their own, but Dean realized how much they'd both matured over the years. It had been a big step for the both of them to seek professional help for Sam's episodes – for Sam to admit that he needed help, and for Dean to let someone else help out on the job that he'd always preferred to do alone; to watch out for Sam, to protect his little brother, to keep him safe.

The brothers had sought help from one of Bobby's old friends; a Larry Havers who – aside from patching up hunters – also happened to be a functioning psychiatrist. Dean had called the guy after Sam's cry for help and explained the situation for him, and Mr. Havers had agreed to meet up with Sam for a session the following day.

"He gives you any crap, let me know and I'll kick his ass!" Dean had said to Sam before the session began which had earned him a wry smile from his worn out little brother.

Sam's session with Larry Havers had come and gone, and the verdict had been PTSD – _Post Traumatic Stress Disorder –_ which really wasn't a surprise considered all the crap Sam had been through over the years. Heck, Dean was pretty sure _he_ too had his fair share of the disorder!

"And he thinks that's what's causing your episodes of not being able to move?" Dean asked, having heard the overall conclusion but needing the details as well.

Sam's forehead wrinkled a bit.

"He said that it's a normal thing for people dealing with PTSD to have nightmares and relive some of the terrible things they've been through which causes sleep trouble." Sam said.

"Mmm-hmm." Dean said as an encouragement for Sam to continue while he kept his eyes on the road ahead.

"He thinks that I'm maybe reliving some stuff from the cage and therefore am too paralyzed of fear to be able to move." Sam said and hesitated a bit.

"And what do _you_ think, Sammy?" Dean wanted to know and glanced at Sam, sensing his brother's hesitation.

"I don't know." Sam sighed. "I guess it makes sense that I've got some PTSD after the cage but.."

".. the things you see when you're having one of your episodes aren't stuff from the cage." Dean finished his brother's sentence and Sam nodded.

"Exactly." Sam agreed with an expression on his face that reminded Dean of a kicked puppy. "So I still don't think we've really come to the bottom of this."

A little bit of silence fell upon them for a while until Sam eventually broke it.

"Larry said that he wanted me to keep coming to his clinic for psychotherapy." Sam said. "He also mentioned the use of antidepressant drugs."

"Whoa, hold on a minute here.." Dean said and looked at Sam with disbelieve. "So now you're depressed too?"

"Antidepressants are used as treatment for a lot of conditions, Dean. It's not a bad thing." Sam said and returned Dean's look. "Besides, who knows what's going on inside my head anymore? To be honest, after all that has happened, is it really so hard to believe that I might have finally started to lose my marbles?"

"No, that's not even an option, Sam." Dean stubbornly disagreed. "We've been there before and we're _not_ going down that road again, you understand me?"

Sam didn't say anything so Dean reached over and threw a punch to Sam's shoulder.

"Ow, Dean!" Sam exclaimed and rubbed at his sore shoulder while scowling at Dean. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"That was for calling my little brother nuts!" Dean said and grinned as Sam kept scowling at him. "Seriously Sammy, you're _not_ riding the crazy-train, okay? I would know if you did."

"How?" Sam asked.

"Because I know you better than anyone." Dean said. "You might have followed me around since you were four, but I've been watching over you since you were _born_. I would know."

A smile tugged at the corner of Sam's mouth – mirroring the expression that was currently set on Dean's face.

"I'm not going back there." Sam said and Dean knew he wasn't just talking about Larry Havers' clinic. "If I need someone to talk to about anything.. I'll talk to _you_."

"Damn straight you will." Dean agreed as the Impala kept racing down the never-ending North-American highways.

**_ SPN _**

Despite his huge efforts to stay awake, Sam ended up passing out on the couch of the old cabin in Whitefish, Montana, after losing his battle against the much needed sleep. Dean was sitting in a chair with Sam's laptop positioned on his thighs, determined to once and for all figure out what the hell Sam was going through.

Dean had previously that evening read a whole lot about PTSD, and he could see why the doctor would pin that disorder on Sam. That didn't mean the older brother agreed with the doctor though – at least not with the sleep thing, and _especially_ not with the suggestion of antidepressant drugs!

Since the brothers had more or less ruled out the option of anything supernatural being the course of Sam's episodes – and since Dean ruled out any suggestions of craziness – the older Winchester brother decided to take the research in a different direction. Without knowing what exactly he was looking for, Dean typed in " _sleep"_ and " _unable to move"_ in the online search bar on the laptop and raised his eyebrows when he saw all the links that showed up on the screen. They all had the same headline; _Sleep Paralysis._

Dean then clicked on the first link and started reading the description of the symptoms.

"Son of a bitch." Dean mumbled as he realized it fit - it all fit.

" _Sleep paralysis_ _is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling_ _asleep_ _or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. It can occur at sleep onset or upon awakening, and it is often associated with terrifying visions (e.g. an intruder in the room), to which one is unable to react due to paralysis."_ Dean read. " _The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes, with some rare cases being hours, by which the individual may experience panic symptoms_."

The webpage also mentioned the inability to speak, the feeling of suffocating, and something Dean in particular noticed; the course of it. Psychological stress, PTSD, panic attacks, fatigue, irregular life patterns and sleep deprivation were all factors of Sleep Paralysis – all of which Sam had some kind of history of.

What Dean was interested the most in knowing though, was how to prevent the incident from happening. He scrolled down the page until he found the treatment-and-prevention-section, glanced at Sam as the younger man shifted a bit in his sleep, and then refocused on the computer screen. There were a few ways to prevent the sleep paralysis for happening and some of them involved the position Sam slept in, healthier sleeping habits, and the need to avoid too much stress and physical fatigue.

"We can do this. We can fix this." Dean muttered to himself and almost sobbed in relief now that he knew there was a way to help his little brother. Finally!

First things first though..

Dean put the laptop aside and closed the distance to the couch. Sam was sleeping on his back and, according to the research Dean had done, that was the worst position for Sam to sleep in since he was more vulnerable to run into one of the sleep paralysis episodes that way. So, as careful as possible as to not wake up his brother, Dean turned Sam over on his side, and realized just how worn out Sam was when the younger man only stirred a tiny bit.

The oldest Winchester brother readjusted the blanket covering Sam, and let his hand linger on Sam's chest for a moment – willing any bad dreams to leave his brother alone for once. Dean then returned to his chair – determined to read as much as possible about the Sleep Paralysis phenomenon before talking to Sam about it.

**_ SPN _**

After a peaceful night's sleep, Sam woke up to a cup of coffee being shoved into his hands.

"Morning." Dean smiled.

"Morning." Sam returned in a rusty voice and yawned before clearing his throat. "You seem cheerful this morning?"

"Well that's because I am." Dean said and took a sip of his coffee. "I have something to tell you, and I don't want you to interrupt me before I'm done talking. Deal?"

"Deal." Sam agreed and raised an eyebrow as he waited for Dean to start talking.

Sam's cup of coffee turned cold as he listened to his big brother present all the research he'd done while Sam had been asleep. As he'd promised, Sam didn't interrupt Dean while he talked and the more he listened to the older brother's words, the more calm he felt on the inside for finally getting some answers.

"It's normal, Sammy." Dean added when he was done talking. "It's something so many people from all over the world have experienced and are dealing with. You're not the only one. It's normal – you're _normal_ , not crazy."

Tears of relief welled in Sam's eyes and the younger hunter blinked a few times to prevent them from spilling. Dean saw the emotion on Sam's face but chose not to comment on it.

"But it means we gotta work on your sleeping habits." Dean said instead. "And that means that when I tell you to go to bed, you go to bed!"

"Always so bossy." Sam snorted.

"Always such a pain in the ass!" Dean retorted. "When you were a kid, I at least had the benefit of being able to carry you to bed. That's not so easy anymore, Gigantor, but don't think I won't haul your sorry ass to bed if I have to!"

Sam laughed a little and then sent his brother a grateful look.

"Thanks Dean." Sam said with sincerity.

"Don't mention it." Dean said and walked to the kitchen. "Breakfast?"

"I can handle it." Sam said in a soft voice, walked to the kitchen area as well and gave Dean's back a pat. "You get some rest."

"Alright." Dean said, put his coffee cup into the sink and sent Sam a bright smile before flopping down on the couch.

"Couch better than bed?" Sam asked as he rinsed out his cold coffee.

"I just figured I would annoy _you_ with some snoring for once." Dean said with his eyes closed.

"I still don't snore, Dean!" Sam protested.

"Whatever you say, Samantha." Dean said, then smiled as Sam let out a few curse words.

Yeah, things were finally beginning to look bright again for the Winchester brothers - as long as Sam was safe and sound, Dean had no trouble sleeping at all. They would get through this situation like they'd done with so many other situations before it; they would get through this together.

                                                                                                                                                                                                 
  
 **THE END**


End file.
